WHAT YOU REALLY NEED FOR MOTHERHOOD

Everyone is concerned about what baby gear items to get when they register, stocking up on everything from diapers to a car seat, but what about the mom?

No matter how much you were around babies before, (I was a lot, even getting my master's degree in a pediatric field), or how much you've researched or read or prepped and planned, nothing can really prepare you for the day-in-and-day-out experience of being a mom yourself.

It's rewarding, challenging, growing, refining, joyous work and easily my favorite role by far. I wouldn't trade it for anything, even on the toughest days.

Motherhood is a big role. And yet there's no handbook or "registry guide" to follow, even though it encompasses a full-on, major identity and lifestyle shift and you will need a toolbox of things to get you through. You just can't exactly register for them.

But here's what you can stock up on for motherhood:

Patience. For when your baby gets up for the 18th time in the middle of the night, or when you're on your fifth outfit change of the day.

Grace. For everyone. Extra doses for those closest to you (yourself included). We're all just doing the best we can.

Friendship and community. Motherhood can be isolating and you'll need to rely on your home team and that group text thread more than once. Among the texts I have sent this year: "Does anyone have experience NOT giving the antibiotics for an ear infection?" "How long did it take you before you felt like you got the hang of this?" "Play date tomorrow at 10am?" Motherhood, while wonderful, also (at times) is hard. Find your tribe. These friends will be worth more than gold.

Caffeine. If you're into that (like me). See also: wine and chocolate.

Hydration. For all that extra coffee. I often forget to drink water, but when I do I think "I should do this more often." A cute water bottle helps.

Nourishment. In all forms and every sense of the word.

Fresh air, and bonus points for endorphins. Because we all could use a little more vitamin D and a little less screen time.

Humility. It's kind of hard to go through the birth process and not come out more humble (thank you, nurses, and all healthcare workers for doing the jobs that you do), but once the baby's here, someone else's bodily fluids will now be a part of your daily life (and your wardrobe).

Flexibility. Your days will not go as planned. The sooner you can accept this fact, the better.

Endurance. Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. Your days may feel loud and busy and full right now, but someday they won't. As everyone says: the days are long but the years are short.

And most definitely, a strong sense of humor. You can choose to either laugh or cry at a million moments in your momming. Choose the former and be happier.

Granted, yes, there are a few "needs" with a baby. Probably things like: a place for your baby to sleep, a plan for feeding, and a car seat that fits. It was time for us to graduate from our infant car seat to a convertible one, and after researching I went with the Maxi-Cosi Pria 85. I chose this one for a few reasons, two main ones are the weight limit is higher than most, and the cover removes easily for cleaning (because the words "clean" and "car seats" are never in the same sentence unless fresh out of the washer). This one is neither the least expensive nor the most, and it checked all my boxes for comfort, safety, style, and design. Sidenote: I wish I had moved him sooner! He's a pretty big baby, and would cry every time I put him in his infant car seat. (Yes, every-single-time.) but he's hasn't cried yet going into this one (SO glad). I think he may have just needed more space? Sharing in case your baby also hates their infant car seat and maybe they just need to graduate to the next size. It's all a guessing game with babies but I thought this was an interesting observation.

(Caught these two having a moment. Trey thinks Daniel is about the funniest person on earth.)

So, yes, get your baby essentials. But also stock up on your motherhood toolbox. You're going to need those qualities a lot more than that wipe warmer.

This post was written for Maxi-Cosi. We adore this car seat and how their well designed baby products combine the best of style and safety.

LEARNING HOW TO MERGE

Pre-baby life and post-baby life sometimes look vastly different for me.

Pre-baby I did things like: curled my hair, had organized closets, made dinner, showered regularly.

Post-baby I do things like: compare the safety ratings of car seats, run out of dry shampoo and laundry detergent more often, shop for the baby instead of myself, and play and laugh more than ever.

Sometimes my pre-baby life feels like a lifetime ago, and in some ways, it is. But this new version of my life and myself has so much more to offer, creating something even better than before.

I used to be a runner. I loved to run. Running and group exercise classes are my top two favorite forms of exercise.

But I have an 8 month old baby and I just now got a jogging stroller. I have no idea what took me so long to make this happen. Sometimes you're so in something that you can't really see clearly, you know?

I think the first bit of motherhood was like this for me. But now, at 8 months postpartum, in the middle of winter in the northwest, I have a jogging stroller. The timing seems simultaneously odd and perfect.

Because there are some things from my pre-baby life that are too good to leave behind. Things like self-care, exercise, and endorphins. These are the kinds of things I want to bring with me into this new self that I'm becoming, as I begin to merge my old life with the new.

Running is one of those things that feels like it's at the core of who I am. I ran my first 5k at age 12 and have ran many races since, including three half marathons, (which is the longest distance I will likely ever desire to run thankyouverymuch) but it's enough and so much more for me.

I feel like myself when I run, and as a new mom, sometimes I just need that little reminder. That even though I have this new identity as a mom, at the core of it I'm still me. The me who loves to run and read and write and design. The me who is all those things and a mom. Not one or the other.

Babies demand a lot, and it's a good thing to give into that, giving up sleep and time and priorities for now, but it's also good to hold onto a few things that are non-negotiables. For me that looks like taking care of myself so that I can best take care of my baby. I can only pour out all my love, time, patience and attention when I'm filled up first. Running is one way that I'm trying to do more of that.

Stroller pictured is by Thule (too-lee), the trusted outdoor gear brand, and this post is shared in partnership with them.  Originally I chose this stroller because of the Baby Gear Lab jogging stroller review here, and while I absolutely love it for running, I was surprised at how great it also performed as a day-to-day stroller. It's lighter than the Bob or Nuna, the straps click in much more easily, and the three wheel design instead of four is a game changer in terms of maneuverability (and as a bonus it's the least expensive compared to the other two by a landslide). If I was doing it all over again I would just have this stroller as my main one, plus the car seat attachment for the first few months. Truly a great buy.

KITCHEN APPLIANCE GAME CHANGER

I posted yesterday to Instagram that I got this milk frother for Christmas and it's been a game changer.

It's similar to Nespresso but less expensive with better reviews, it's an Amazon best seller and unlike the cheaper handheld ones, it warms the milk too. Love that it's one touch (hello, mornings with a baby) and even froths almond milk which I didn't think possible. Got a few requests for the brand so wanted to share here. (Not sponsored, just sharing!)

Enjoy!